I Will Stay Awake with You

Today’s word(s) – I will stay awake with you.

These words were given to me by the woman who was my roommate at the first Evolutionary Women’s retreat nearly ten years ago.  As part of the closing ceremony,   each of us looked into the eyes of the other women and quietly made the commitment that “I will stay awake with you.”  For me, it was a pledge to hold space and bear witness to the unfolding of my sisters in Spirit.

All these years, I have wondered about the “why” this particular phrase.  Each time I thought of those words, I was aware that the Apostles were supposed to stay awake in the  Garden of Gesthemane as Jesus prepared for his day of judgment and sacrifice.  Alas, they were not able to do so, so I always found a juxtaposition – the legendary story where the Apostles failed to stay away, with the commitment to stay awake.

Today I had the opportunity to speak with one of the originators of that workshop to find out what the origins of that phrase were.  As I had thought, it was based on the story of the Apostles in the Garden of Gesthemane.  Her perspective was that at that time, the Apostles were not able to hold the energy for Jesus and therefore went to sleep.  That it is a common occurrence that when someone goes to an event and are not able to hold the frequency they frequently go to sleep.  We then laughed since I said, why yes, I was aware of that, since it has happened to me more than once. 🙂  I also shared that many years ago when I participated in a channeling group, that it was mentioned by the channeled entity (probably St. Germain) that “they” did that so that the person could get the information without the resistance when they were awake.  I digress.

As part of the workshop presentation, they had received a message that this would make a good closing. We had evolved since then and would be in a space to hold the resonant energy for the gathering, and thus in a position to share that phrase with others.

Over the years since then, I have used that phrase at other EW retreats;  occasionally with another small group where it felt appropriate in the moment.

Today, I feel honored to have others in my life that are honoring their awakening state.  I invite all to find the opportunity to “stay awake with you.”

 

 

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Trust

Today’s (and for several days) word – Trust.

I pulled this word several days ago and then ended up not writing about it.  For several days, I swept it to the back of my mind, yet it popped up here and there for me to reflect on.

My initial thought was “oh here it is again, a message reminding me that I don’t trust Source enough.”  Sure enough, the first thing to come up is self-recrimination.  After a simple moment, I was then struck with thoughts of celebration – I had come a long way from where I used to be, and I should celebrate that over beating myself up. (Woo hoo! – just to be clear, that’s woo hoo for celebration, not beating myself up)

I know that not all that long ago, I would have been petrified to retire (and probably would have delayed it even more).  Financially, it is/will be a giant reorganization of my life, and I will probably need to supplement the income from Social Security.  Emotionally, I am aware that the greatest thing that I can do is allow myself to decompress – allow the rest that I need into my life – allow myself to regenerate.  Today, I am more certain that all is well.  I find I am still reluctant to say “ALL is well” and believe that that is so.  And, I find this a crux of the message – believe.  Amusing, since as a Piscean, the key words are “I Believe.”  Well, ok, busted.  I don’t always.  I have said for years, I do believe in miracles – especially for others; just not certain about myself.  (So, I have often thought that the universe has a perverse sense of humor 🙂 )

Back to celebration….where I find myself is that I am more open to what will unfold, rather than the need to know how everything will come to pass.  I am willing to trust the inner voice that says “relax, wait until you get a clear prompt to make a move.”  “Trust that what you are doing now is just perfect.”  “All will unfold with benevolence.”  Nice voices to be heeding and to continue to believe in.

Then of course, I must acknowledge the fact that it really is about how much do I trust myself.  Ahhh, the journey to grace is still going.

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Shakti

Today’s word – Shakti

It would be difficult for me to see the word Shakti without thinking of the name Shakti Gawain.  She was a prominent name many years ago (while I was still in CA and that was 25 years ago).  She was (is) known for Creative Visualization and later Living in the Light.  In the mid-90’s, I was the logistical lead for a workshop that she did, and I thought at that time that she was at least in her late 50’s.  I was surprised to discover today that she is actually younger than I am.  (Obviously, I would not be a good resource for guessing someone’s age. LOL)

I am aware that the truer meaning for Shakti is the primal energy of creation.  Shakti is  one of the Hindu Goddesses affiliated with the Divine Feminine.  I have also heard the term Shakti used in a way akin to chi (qui), or one’s personal power.

I can feel the energy pick up in my body just thinking about the Shakti flow.

I feel that this word as an invitation to find my personal empowerment through the use of creative energies.  Aligning with the Divine Feminine is probably also key to employing the full benefit of the word Shakti.  The Divine Feminine is an alluring precept for me.  I can’t claim to understand what that means, yet recognize that there is something sacred waiting to reveal itself.  I wonder to myself whether the slowing down that is happening in my life will open the window/door to exploring and understanding the Divine Feminine even more.

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Enjoy

Today’s word – Enjoy

The obvious comes to mind with this word.  When doing things, have joy in doing so.

When I pulled the word, I quickly heard it said with the intonation of a command – as in “You! Go forth and enjoy!”  Kind of amusing, and at the same time, what if I took the command to heart?  Would I approach how I do things any differently?  Would I not do some things because I wouldn’t enjoy them?  Could I shift my perspective so that I could do them and enjoy (in joy)?  What would I let go of if I just “couldn’t get into it?”  What would I embrace more if I knew that it was ok to enjoy them?  Sometimes, I find that I can “deprive” myself of something I enjoy because it is something “I shouldn’t” be doing.  (Or so, someone else says.)

Right now, I am enjoying the flexibility to sleep when I want to, do things when I want to, and NOT do things when I don’t want.  (Of course, it is easy to give myself permission to do that when I haven’t been feeling 100%).   The question is will I allow myself to continue to do that or will I start overriding the impulses with the things I “should be doing” instead?  There are a lot of things on the list, and it could be an interesting experiment to go down the list and say “I’ll do this, because I would enjoy it.”  Hmmmmm.  Wonder what would fall off the list.  😉

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Breathe

Today’s word – Breathe

I pulled the word and giggled.  I remembered the gist of a comment, frequently made in jest, “It’s a good thing that breathing is automatic, otherwise I’d be dead.”

Boy, do I resemble that remark!  I move through out life and frequently give it no conscious thought, and oft times it shows.  How often have I been in a position where I have caught myself holding my breath?  When that happens, I usually marvel about the fact that I had NO idea I was doing that.  Yup, good thing that it is automatic.

In my work with essential oils, there were a few of the oils that combined the message of breathing with the ability to receive (in breath); the ability to put ones own expression into the world (out breath).  This is a great reminder for me that I can bring in the energies of the universe by breathing in; and empower myself and take my place as a co-creator by breathing out.

Breathe In; Breathe out; repeat.

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Good Wishes

Today’s word is two – Good Wishes

Surprisingly, when I pulled the words from the basket this morning, I had an unpleasant visceral reaction.  I was immediately bombarded with scenes of people signing cards – Best Wishes blah, blah; people saying good bye – Best Wishes, blah, blah. As I went through the day, I found myself wanting to blame people for being shallow – saying things that were pedantic and not what they really meant to say.

Then it lead to wanting to take the words apart.  Good – opposite of bad; something that people would be willing to experience; something beneficial.  Wishes.  Why wishes?  wishes are things that people don’t get. How often do they come to fruition?  They seem to  remain out of reach like the proverbial carrot on the stick.  Why not wish a person “Good Manifestation to You?”  Command (another use of the word wish) that a person bring things into formation rather than keep things out there in the ethers.

As I continued through the day and into the evening, I realized that my initial thoughts were a projection on to others.  How many times had I been guilty of saying “best wishes” to someone, especially someone I did not know well?  Why didn’t I dig deeper and find something even more relevant to say to the person; something that would acknowledge some connection to the person?  More depth rather than keeping in on the surface where it is safe?  I realized that this generally comes up in social situations where they are a casual contact; people that I know of; have a working knowledge of and no real intimacy with.  It is a way to make nice.  Would it be better to not do anything?

At the end of today, I am having the realization that this has been an invitation to look more deeply on the types of relationships that I want to have in my life, as well as the next time I have an opportunity to sign a card see if there a way that I can take a moment to find a point of connection more deeply than just “best wishes” and sign off.  An invitation to be more authentic and transparent

I would like to make it abundantly clear that I am in no way minimizing the gift of the words “Good Wishes” given to me.  I am deeply appreciative, and in awe of how unfinished business can popup in the most innocuous of ways.  As the day passed, the challenge became noticing how I felt about things and would I be willing to share the journey with you.

Today, I willingly accept the gift of the words “Good Wishes”  and see them as an opportunity to set dreams in motions.

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Inspiration

Today’s word – Inspiration

A great word.  Where does my inspiration come from?  The inspiration muse comes from many different sources.  It might be a good movie; a book; a quote that I see on Facebook; another’s story; taking a drive in the hills, many ideas coalescing into a new combined energy.  Certainly, it is not a single one.  In addition it also comes from that inner space where I feel a moment of  expansion and well-being.  It can happen suddenly, and a moment a gratitude for the Angelic messengers that abound.

One place where I felt that moment of expansion was when I used to drive into the office.  There was plenty of open space, and farm land that alternated plowed fields and hay fields.  The sun shining and the contrast of deep rich brown dirt and yellow fields was always breathtaking and centering for me.

Inspiration can manifest for me in different ways…Sometimes it is the recognition of a “great idea” and others it is something that “just feels right” and still others it is “when I get a message” from the energy of my connection with Source.

I am looking forward to allowing the silent times to spring forward new moments of inspiration.

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Open

Today’s word – Open.

I can make the obvious connection and say that this is a message to remain open, especially to possibilities.  When I feel uncertain, things don’t seem to make sense, when there are challenges, to remain open to what can happen rather than to stay in the limited thought pattern.  Admittedly a noble objective, and for me, it can be difficult to shift my thinking to the highest possible outcome.  I know that I have been doing work about finding the gift in a given circumstance.  I am coming to believe that until I give myself permission to find the gift in what is going on, I am truly unable to let go.  So, staying open to me is not just seeing the possibilities, it is also to see the gift.

My impish self reminds me that open has another connotation….you open a present (gift). 😀

Yet, another good reason to find the gift, yes?

 

 

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Refresh, Renew, Rejoice

Today’s word is actually three – Refresh, Renew, Rejoice.

My first thought when I pulled these words was Mercury retrograde.  (the next one of which arrives on May 19, if I remember correctly).  Now why is that?  I was told once that under Mercury retrograde, it was a perfect time to RE anything.  Redo, Rebuild, Reconstruct, Repair.

I’m getting a big dose of these words right now, especially the renew and refresh part.  I have been laid low with a really phenomenal cold.  I actually spent most of yesterday in bed, and a big part of today.  Haven’t done that in a really long time.  I’m looking at this as an opportunity to revitalize, since I know that I have been burning the candle at both ends for some time.  For the last couple of days, I have had the pleasure of just releasing and letting go.  I don’t have anything to drive me to get better quick.  I can just let go and rest.  I know that things are unwinding, and that when this is all done, I will have a different outlook.  The fact that I am not feeling driven to do anything is an achievement in itself.

I look at this as a gift from the Universe…also a strong message.  Slow down.  Relax. Take time for yourself.  I also get to let go of the plans that I had for this period of time, and know that all is well.

Refresh – getting the rest that I need
Renew – allowing the energies to move in a different way
Rejoice – celebrate that I have this opportunity

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Energetic Support

Today’s words – energetic support.

This will be really simple.  I am in great need of some energetic support.  I have caught one hellacious something or rather.  Any energy sent will be greatly appreciated.

I want to acknowledge at this moment, I was able to easily ask for this support.  There was a time in my life where I would not have been able to.

Blessings, and thank you.

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